Hi Mar7y!

I hope I am not sounding disrespectful. It seems to me, in this entry, that you are anti-college/university. Is there an alternative that you feel is better?

I just ran across your site (looking for homeschool moms). I have two sons in a college right now and two more children still here at home with me.

Bless You
betsy

hello betsy,

I take no offense at all!!  You asked your question in the utmost of love.  While i wrote that blog, which I quoted from Norm Wakefield (a homeschool leader), my two older children are currently students enrolled in a college.  At first they were commuting back and forth from home (only 40 minutes away).  then after a few semesters, the pressure was on from the professors and staff for the commuters to live on campus; in which we gave in and permitted them to live on campus.  Presently, I have a daughter in her last semester of her senior year on campus and a junior year son who is taking a semester off and living back at home.  It is not that I am anti-college. And it is not that we went through some major thing with my children.....they love the Lord with all their hearts and love and honor their family and their parents.  It is just that after homeschooling them and then sending them out on to college and living there that I could so agree with with Norm Wakefield was saying.  With my daughter (she will be 23 on Wed.), I felt that it was easy for her to get caught up into the college life phenomenon (sp?).  I felt that at first she had both feet at home when she left for school and then gradually, after each semester, she then had one foot at home and then one foot in the college life.  She never really voiced any of this, but I felt that during her sophmore/junior year she would drift off into collegedum and they we would have to reminder her about her calling as a daughter back at home....by which she would readily bring her heart back to.  It was a little different with our son.  As soon as he went to live on campus....the tostostrone started flowing and he exerted all his independence.  Both feet left home and on his own he went.  This is okay for sons but he learned some tough lessons (caused by irresponsibility and immaturity) of which now he is trying to recover from.  i.e., some bad financial decisions, not keeping his grades up; and just plain putting fun over responsibilities.  He has now taken a semester off and loves being home.  He also has matured much in these few months (he will be 20 in April).  He is thinking about changing his major and seeking the direction of the Lord for his vocation.  But, not without consequences of mistakes and bad choices which he will have to make restitution (financially).  All this to say, we feel that if we stayed back of the "after highschool graduation" rush to go off to college and waited until our children were more mature, we would have saved them from some mistakes.  We now have 3 children left at home (14, 8 and 6).  When we are at the time to do all over again, I think it wise this time to try to take some on-line classes, and pray; maybe commute to a junior/community college and pray; for my daughter, maybe let her not work so soon and have her minister at home to her siblings for a while..............and pray.  pray, pray, pray for God to open/close doors of opportunities and seek His wisdom more than we did.  The websites http://www.spiritofelijah.com and http://www.visionforum.com and http://www.drsmdavis.com  Where you can get "What to Expect from a 12 Year Old") has been so helpful to us.   I sure hope that I have not been too long winded. This is a topic very close to my heart.  Please comment if you have more questions. 

May Christ be Glorified in All,